turn right in the crossroads

Do  we  turn  our  cheek  to  pave  the  beaten  road  we’re  sometimes  on?  Often  times  I  find  myself   in  a  bad  situation,  realizing  I  could  have  seen  it  coming  long  before.  Why  do  we  end  up  in  places   we  don’t  belong?  Are  we  truly  unaware?   I  think  we  are  subconsciously  aware  of  what  we  are  getting  ourselves  into.    A  little  voice  speaks   up  when  this  happens  and  it  is  easy  to  stomp  on  it  and  ignore.  Denial  can  be  for  many  “good”   reasons  at  the  time,  whether  it’s  that  we  are  having  fun,  trying  new  things,  being  optimistic  or  hopeful.  Whatever  it  is,  we  really  need  to  stop  and  listen  more  closely.

Have  you  ever  been  in  a  relationship  where  it  was  completely  obvious  this  person  had   commitment  issues  and  asshole  tendencies  from  day  one?  I  have.  I  ignored  the  voice  in  my   head  because  I  was  “having  fun”.  Having  fun  turned  into  being  optimistic,  turned  into  being   hopelessly  hopeful,  turned  into  well  I  got  this  far  I  guess  I’m  use  to  it,  turned  to  I  am  SO  CLOSE  to  making  it  to  the  altar  and  then  we  will  have  all  the  time  in  the  world  for things to get  better, turned  into,  well,  disaster.  On  the  last  day  he  had  commitment  issues  and  asshole   tendencies,  just  as  he  had  on  the  first.  I  could  have  seen  the  fate  of  that  relationship  years   away,  but  I  made  the  choice  not  to.

Have  you  ever  taken  a  job  just  to  have  a  job?  I’ve  taken  a  job  realizing  that  the  pay  wouldn’t   work  for  me,  management  was  inappropriate  and  unprofessional,  and  most  employees  were   unhappy.  I  took  it  because  I  was  excited  and  hopeful  that  things  would  change.  I  had  a  friend  I   adored  that  worked  there,  and  I  believed  everything  would  settle  in  to  be  perfect.  I  quit  that  job   many  years  later  because  the  pay  didn’t  work  for  me,  management  was  unprofessional,  and   because  now  I  too,  was  unhappy.  I  knew  the  issues  even  before  I  started  training,  but  I  refused   to  accept  the  business  the  way  it  was.

Why  do  we  think  our  presence  will  change  things?  It  spotlights  an  important  lesson  that  before   we  jump  in  to  something,  we  need  to  accept  it  for  the  way  it  is  and  not  try  to  change  it.  We   need  to  take  charge  and  make  good  decisions  for  ourselves  based  on  our  acceptance  of  the   truth.  I  think  we  would  all  be  spared  a  lot  of  grief  if  we  exercised  this  simple  idea.  It  is  never  too   late  to  get  out  of  something  and  start  over.  We  will  all  make  mistakes,  but  how  do  we  keep   from  repeating  them?

1)  Listen  to  your  intuition.  It  will  alert  you  if  something  doesn’t  seem  right.

2)  If  an  altercation  happens,  or  if  a  concern  arises,  write  it  down.

3)  Review this  log  from  time  to  time  to  see    if  anything  has  changed.  If  you  find  you  are  writing   down  the  same  concern  again,  it  may  be  time  to  take  action.

4)  Accept  people  for  who  they  are.  They  are  who  they  show  you  they  are.  The  same  goes  for   jobs.  Have  fair  and  realistic  expectations.

5)  Never  stay  too  long  in  an  uncomfortable  place.  You  belong  where  you  are  appreciated.

Do  yourself  a  favor  and  next  time  you  are  at  a  crossroads,  don’t    convince  yourself  to  put  one,   two,  or  even  five  years  into something  to  see  how  it  goes.  Life  is  very  long  when  you’re  miserable.  Yes,  I  said  long, and  ridden with  disappointment.  Be  the  boss  to  lead  you  on  the   right  path.  The  things  you  can  accomplish  by  using  your  time  and  energy  for  deserving   opportunities  is  limitless!

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More about Erika Lauren

Erika Lauren is a Boston born twenty something French girl spending her days as an esthetician, makeup artist, and dog mom, and her nights as a writer. She's a content creator for The Haute Mess, XOJane, and Narrative.ly. Reader discretion advised: She suffers from lalochezia. Email: ErikaLauren9@yahoo.com

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