what the real housewives have taught me about friendship

I’ve been watching the Real Housewives for a really long time, and though I may have lost a few brain cells, it hasn’t gone without learning some valuable lessons about friendship. Seriously. What have the real housewives taught me about friendship? Well, what better way is there to learn how to navigate your girl squad then watching women that have it all love/hate each other? These are the scenes and the women that enlighten me to be a better friend.

Pretend anything you say, can and will be held against you in the court of Andy Cohen.

kim kardashian drama meme
Whenever you want to gossip about someone, or repeat any kind of information that isn’t yours to repeat, I want you to first think that whatever you say will be recorded. It will then be played back for that person to hear, along with your circle of friends, and the entire world. The world will then call in to Andy Cohen who will confront you on the spot in front of said person, circle of friends, and entire world. The news doesn’t seem so juicy anymore, does it?

“Don’t poke a bear in the zoo.”

If you have a friend that’s a wildcard, which we all do, step aside when she’s flipping tables. Way to the side. Chances are this friend feels she has nothing to lose with her words, even if they are venomous.

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Of course it’s important to not let anyone walk all over you and you should develop a healthy, honest relationship with people in your circle, especially people that are direct and appreciate directness in return, but don’t play games with this friend. Keep nonsense to a minimum, and if they are on a tare, steer clear.

Some women never shake jealousy, insecurity, or pettiness.


With that, it’s better to move on than to try and change them. Some women thrive off of gossip and drama and no matter how you plead with them to be a good friend and not hurt you, you can’t change them. Some perfect examples include Tamra and Vicki of OC, Kyle and Pumpy of BH, and Ramona with everyone on NYC. As much as you may want someone to be as loyal to you as you are to them, it doesn’t always happen.

Hostess skills are a MUST

There’s nothing I love more than hosting a good get-together. The housewives love to show off everything they have and in watching them I’ve learned some valuable hostess skills.

  • Put out what will be enough food for double the amount of people coming over, and then put out some more.
  • Eat hardly any to stay the skinniest in your dress.
  • Dress to impress.
  • Leave all the best toiletries in your guest bathroom.
  • Hire a maid (or your boyfriend) to get your place immaculate.
  • Have many alcoholic beverage options. With pretty glasses and garnishes.
  • Always be home, never making them wait outside in the cold for you (like Sonja did…)

If you know any famous musicians, have them surprise your guests with a private performance like Yolanda did. (Or just break out guitar hero and wow them yourself).

Girl trips are great in theory

Accommodating multiple personalities in a foreign location, closed quarters, and especially on a schedule can be a huge risk. I especially don’t recommend this without alcohol and maybe Lorazepam. Suddenly, Kara takes longer to get ready than you remember and has a really obnoxious laugh that you only now realize as you’re exhausted and trying to sleep. You and Jenn are about to kill each other over the thermostat for sleeping temperatures.

kim richards

It’s not like you’re with your sister or your man where you can just yell “get the fuck out of the bathroom Sarah” or “Pick up your friggan underwear Brad you’re so gross.” No. You have to let it all boil and pray you don’t explode. Never girl trip for longer than two nights.

If they don’t support you, you don’t need them.

If you’re on a new venture in life your girlfriends should support you. Someone being negative about anything you are perusing or enjoying, you don’t need that kind of energy in your life. When people are immediately negative, they are usually reacting out of fear or their own insecurities/short comings. Or they are just flat out hateful and J.E.A.L.O.U.S. I cringed watching Lisa Rinna bash Erika Girardi for her Erika Jayne gig. Lisa, you did the cover of play boy. Knock it off. Or Ramona hanging on to Luann’s new fiancé like a kite in a tornado. Okay whatever, you dated him, take yourself out of this embarrassing love square with Sonja. There are endless examples of this in the housewives vault, but what never changes is that the negative person always looks like an ass. Do you girl.

erika girardi real housewives beverly hills

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More about Erika Lauren

Erika Lauren is a Boston born twenty something French girl spending her days as an esthetician, makeup artist, and dog mom, and her nights as a writer. She's a content creator for The Haute Mess, XOJane, and Narrative.ly. Reader discretion advised: She suffers from lalochezia. Email: ErikaLauren9@yahoo.com

1 Comment

    1. LOL! I love this! RHNJ is my guilty feminist secret! You should submit this piece to Bustle it would be a great fit 🙂

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