bitch ass

I adore my boyfriend, but sometimes he morphs into a teenage girl at drama club and I have a hard time accommodating him. I work hard to share a mutual maturity and respect in our relationship, especially if we are arguing. I feel like this is the key to a good relationship. Sometimes it works, and other times things like this fly out of my mouth… “Well this all started because you walk around with that BITCH ASS face on”. Bitch ass. That’s what I called him. We both started laughing, because it sounds completely ridiculous and because I had found the all encompassing description of my boyfriend’s alter ego.

What makes your boyfriend transform into a bitch ass? The time I’ve spent with my boyfriend has taught me to make sure I feed him before noon, feed him again every few hours, don’t point out his jacked up haircut, and throw him a bone every once in a while. Some guys may be much more temperamental than this. Some guys may never be in a bad mood at all. The point is understanding why your boyfriend gets this way and figuring out how to rectify it if you want to get along for the remainder of the day.

I’ll try to ignore it for a little while and see if it goes away, offer him a snack or whatever, but I definitely have a breaking point where I can’t help but call him out on it. I think back to an anger management lesson my health class took in high school. We were taught that if we are angry with someone we should address them as follows, “I feel (blank) when you (blank) because (blank).” How lovely is that? Then you get your moment to shine and you yell out something about their bitch ass face making you want to punch them. Don’t punch them, that’s domestic violence and that’s gross.

Instead, assess what your realistic management skills are. If you are high strung and feel you need to remove yourself, then do so for a little while. If you are great at keeping a level head, you can try communicating right away by addressing that you realize he’s not in the best mood, but projecting it on you isn’t making anything better. Ask him what you can you do to help. If he is a rational guy he will appreciate this sort of recognition of his problem. If he’s an aspiring soap opera star like my boyfriend, it may get worse before it gets better. Insert “I feel pissed when you walk around like a little bitch ass because it makes me want to run far, far away from you.” I mean, “I feel upset when you get in this mood because I don’t know how to help you and it alters my mood too.” Help him help himself. As women we want to fix everything but guess what? We can’t always. It’s not always our problem to fix. Let him know you’re there for him but you’re not going to put up with any disrespect or bullshit. If he can’t play nice he can play alone for a while until he’s thought about his actions. Some things just have to ride out and you’re not obligated to buckle up for it. Do your thing while he figures it out. I love ya but I don’t like you right now. Bitch ass.

*no boyfriends were harmed in the writing of this post.

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More about Erika Lauren

Erika Lauren is a Boston born twenty something French girl spending her days as an esthetician, makeup artist, and dog mom, and her nights as a writer. She's a content creator for The Haute Mess, XOJane, and Narrative.ly. Reader discretion advised: She suffers from lalochezia. Email: ErikaLauren9@yahoo.com

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